Well church was nice . . then we went and had subs at a little local store and visited with another friend. Pleasant. Tonight my parents are going to watch Felina and the other Emily and I are going to go to Target. It just opened today so it'll probably be CRAZY . . but hey it'll be interesting.
I don't feel any great sense of relief today. I still have a strange peace (well strange to me) about everything . . . I know I can't change anything but myself. I do not see my marriage to Kevin ever working as anything again. But I understand now that I can grow and learn and be the best for my kids and someday another man.
I am sad for the loss . . . but I know I am better off.
GH notice how much nicer my buts have become? LOL . . . sounds strange huh! My buts are more positive. . .
I'm unsure if I'm really making progress although I feel that I am.
I still sometimes want to try to make sense of the whole sitch but I just tell myself there is no point . . I can't ever know what he was thinking. So . . I just try to let go and change the subject in my mind . . . which I am getting better at.
