I DUNNO how you get over that but what you are doing so far is awesome. With time you will be able to see you will be better off without him and guess what seeing as he hasnt worked on himself he will take good old unreliable Kevin with him to her. Focus on you and when you get down remember you are strong. This will be the hardest thing you ever, ever do. You will see the rewards in the future., When I left my first H I knew I was doing the best thing for me and my kids. I had the mentality that even if we were to be alone forever at least we would be happy. I had hard times, sometimes I would only have enough after paying rent to buy a bag of potatoes but I was doing it ALL BY MYSELF. I PAID THE RENT BY MYSELF , WORKED 40 HOURS A WEEK AND WENT TO SCHOOL THE OTHER 40. Sure I had my ups and downs I would cry myself to sleep sometimes over the guilt( my kids didnt have their intact Family) but my ex had been so cruel to me I knew I was doing the right thing.My boys were only 4 and 6 at the time ,, now they are 17 and 15. Guess what I helped my 17 year old be a good human being hes had a girlfriend now for 2 years and he RESPECTS her like you would never expect a teenager to respect his girlfriend. He has a job and 900.00 dollars saved in the bank. Well what I AM TRYING TO SAY IS ITS OK TO BE ON THE PATH YOU ARE ON YOUR GIRLS WILL BE LEARNING SO MUCH FROM YOU . WHOS TO SAY THE WONT GROW TO BE EVEN BETTER THAN THEY COULD HAVE WITH KEVIN THERE. I have come to realize that I would feel like a failure if my 2nd M does not heal but you know what if that day comes and GOD does not restore my M, I will survive and put all my energy into making my kids worthwhile adults. But I am no failure, I just am a human being. Sorry if I am rambling but I hope you get the point,, you can do this and maybe one day ( years from now) meet your prince charming and you'll make fantastic memories with a new start. Give yourself all the time in the world honey, I jumped into marrying my current H only a year after my D and I told him I loved him but wasnt sure I was ready b/c Marriage is a seriuos thing and I did not want to go into it lightly or ever divorce again and look at me now. TAKE IT FROM ME TAKE YOUR ,TIME TAKE YOUR TIME DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU ANY DIFFERENT. You need you time and time to heal. Please do not ever forget that. God bless
Quote: Sorry to butt in but do you realize getting a divorce is not a real quick process?
I wouldn't bet any money on you being divorced quickly and even less on him remarrying immediately afterwards.
By all means butt in any time Amy.
The only reason I thought it would be quick is because once again my sister said after he files the papers it will only take about 3 weeks (that's all her's took I guess). She said we won't have to go to actual court or even need lawyers since we don't own anything. He has that car . . . that I'd really like to have . . . but I don't have to fight him for it . . .
Must be that's just incorrect info . . . what should I be expecting?
Actually, by leaving and coming back for several days, that sets your separation date as to the last day that he left. It is probably totally up to you if you want to allow him to back date to May if he files. I wouldn't .
Also, it appears to me that PA has a minimum waiting period of 90 days once filed, before a divorce will be granted.
Quote: And Emily... DON"T EVER sign anything without calling Legal Aid FIRST. You will more than likely qualify for their help.
USE THEM. It's what they are there for.
I didn't know there was such a thing as legal aid!
I won't sign anything . . . promise!
I couldn't find anything about 90 days or anything on that site. Do they normally give you time to review and sign the D papers themselves (I.E. Sign and Return by X date.) I sure hope so because I'll wait as long as possible to sign and return.
I'm having a rough morning here in The Land of Em. UGH . . . I don't understand why I can't just shut down my feelings like he did. I'm angry and hurt today. I can't decide if I'm more angry at him for this or if it hurts me. I have been praying for peace . . and I'm going to church with a friend today . Hopefully something good will come from all of this.
I just can't wait for it to be 6 months down the road . . . where I have worked on myself and my D is final and the child support/custody sitch is worked out . . . and I can just BREATHE and live. . . and be happy.
Found it Amy . . . I just wasn't looking in the right place.
I think this is interesting . .
Quote: The court can order counseling, if it appears to the judge that there is a reasonable prospect for reconciliation, or if there is a child under age 16 in the family, or if either party requests it.
The counseling period will be for not less than 90 days (approximately 3 months), and not more than 120 days (approximately 4 months). However, the parties can agree to give it a try for longer than that. (In the case of a mutual consent divorce, the counseling period will not be longer than the 90-day waiting period.)
If the court is ordering counseling, it may order the parties to attend up to three sessions
Right Amy . . our seperation date would be July 16, 2006
OHHHH . . . this whole sitch makes me so mad! <--See told ya!
One more thing . . . I've been looking at the support calculators . . . if he's been telling me his income anywhere NEAR to what it really is . . He's gonna be paying quite a bit of child support. (It's EXPENSIVE) OWW! He's gonna be REALLY mad about that!
Regarding the child support, it's set by the state based on his income so get what the girls deserve and don't even think about feeling guilty about that. It's for them.
In your yellow pages, you should be able to find legal aid under the lawyers section. It should be alphabetical.
Let me know if you can't find it and I'll get you a number. I'll need to know what city or county you live in though.
See Emily, when you educate yourself, the legal part of all this at least, is not so scary.
Your right when you at least know what you are facing it's easier to face it!!
After you told me about the legal aid. I looked it up and found one that I can use. So . . . when I get those papers from him I'll call them and see if they can help me out. There's really no reason to call them before hand is there??
Wow . . . I think I finally found forward movement. I feel soo free like I can do ANYTHING that I choose . . and I don't even have to ask anyone for permission! Holy crow! No one to lord over me. I went right from mom and dad to kevin . . . but I finally get to make up my own mind and do what I want! It's a little scary . . . but definately fun!
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. . . I just wasn't looking in the right place.