I GUESS WHAT I was trying to say is he doesnt even know what hes doing... so the further away the better. Really you are better off w/o him. You sound a million times better now that you have really decided to let go,, I can not say it enough. You rock Em.
I myself wonder (@ H) everyday as he is nicer and more loving to me,, I am in limbo. He says one thing (lets proceed with D,,,I think?,,,you have changed but I am not sure you will stay this way!!!) and his actions say another. He is home with me and is affectionate, he calls me when he is out to check in but I cry sometimes now when he goes to work cause none of it makes ANY sense to me.
If we work it out.. YOO HOO.
But what if he keeps thinking he can cheat whenever he feels like it? Thats my struggle now. I love him and have forgiven him but I will admit I carry her with me sometimes .
I get mad at myself for doing it.
But I have come to the realization that if it doesn't work out I gave it every last bit of me and my all.And thats the best I could have done. Knowing God sees all of my efforts and forgiveness. ON August 1st if we do not go sign papers, the "D" will be null and void. Pray for me EM------> thanks.
You are doing fantastic EMILY,, once again you rock and keep being strong. Pretty soon , you will be giving advice to NEWBIES------> but first work on you. I know I am getting ahead of myself, but you are making me feel so happy for you and your newfound sense of strength. Dont let it go.
God bless you and your little angels...