Quote: Sometimes, Emily, the things we say, the things we do to challenge you are to GET YOU TO FIGHT, not run away. You "bother" because somewhere inside that thick skull of yours, you KNOW you want more, you're just not sure how to get it. That's what we are TRYING, mostly in vein, to do here.
I don't even know what I want. I'm so confused. I don't know if I'll ever get myself right enough to ever have a relationship. I feel like everything is my fault. I can't figure out how to fix myself though. I don't know where I need to turn to get on the right path. Right now I merely reacting to his actions. I don't feel capable of doing anything else. If it were up to me he wouldn't be Ding me to be with the OW. He would have choosen me and the girls over her anyday. But that's not the way it is happening . . so now I react to his actions. I know you hate that GH but that's the rut I am stuck it. Once I jump out of that . . maybe this will go someplace. I don't know how to make myself believe that I am doing this because I want to. I DON'T . . . I don't want to get D'd . . . not at all.
