Do you really know what is going on inside Kevin's head? How do you know that he didn't mean those things, and was trying to give the two of you another chance? Emily, as it's been stated before your actions, words, and thoughts are what are keeping you from bringing yourself back up off the floor. It doesn't have to be an all out war with Kevin, but you are choosing to make it that way. I know you said Kevin said all of those horrible things to you, but guess what you are not innocent either. You shared with us some of the words that you spewed at him. And I really don't blame Kevin for spewing back words at you, you are using your kids as pawns. Whether he is your husband or not he helped make those beautiful babies and he has rights too. I'll tell you what your girls will despise you when they get older when they find out that you were the one keeping them away from their father.
As I was reading gabby's post about me not having my biological parents etc. . .
I guess I feel that he DOES NOT love them. He's choosen a whore over his daughters. . . that's the way I feel. He choose that OW over not just me BUT them as well.
That's how I feel . . that's how I see it. Go ahead and yell now.
Quote: Ok, so you all can't find ANYTHING to talk about besides your crap? Emily, I would make it an immediate part of your GAL attempts to make SURE you find something, ANYTHING to talk about with your family other than this $hit. It sounds like they enjoy the drama as much as you do.
Oh it's not that we have to talk about it all the time. BUT if they find out that I haven't been following their advice I will be on the [censored] list and they will go ahead and let me know it until I start listening to their advice.
Quote: Oh it's not that we have to talk about it all the time. BUT if they find out that I haven't been following their advice I will be on the [censored] list and they will go ahead and let me know it until I start listening to their advice.
Ok, and it sounds like you can't stand not to have their approval, even more than you can't stand to be unhappy. Forgive me this, but so long as you feel that way, there is yet another barrier between you and getting what YOU want. Trust me, there is a LOT of that in my sitch too and you know what? I just don't talk with my family about it, and neither does my W. It works a LOT better that way.
Agian, why come here and ask us all to help you when you know damn well that you will not take our advice if it lands you on the $hit list with your family. Why bother?
Quote: Do you really know what is going on inside Kevin's head? How do you know that he didn't mean those things, and was trying to give the two of you another chance?
Only what he's told me . . . that's what I am telling you here. What he has told me.
You know what Emily? My family was the same way and guess what it's been over thirteen months and my family now minds their own business. YOU decide what to share with your family. After, I stopped sharing all the horrible details of my relationship life got easier for me and my relationship with them was also less strained. This is the time for you to grow up! Stop relying on others to tell you what to do or how to feel. So now instead of basing your feelings solely on Kevin does or says, now your doing it based on your family. Now is not the time to decide what you want 100% you are filled with crazy ranting emotions and are not in a place where you could make the best decisions. I guarantee next week you'll be back to saying I love him so much and ill do what ever it takes to get him back. Sit back, relax, and work on you. Once, again you are assuming Kevin does not love his girls, how dare you!! Right now Kevin is blinded by infatuation. Being with someone else does not mean he does not love his girls. It means he is living in a fantasy world, but , he will realize one day what damage his actions have caused. But, until then I do find it completely ridicolous that you tell us and others that Kevin does not love his own children.
Quote: Ok, and it sounds like you can't stand not to have their approval, even more than you can't stand to be unhappy. Forgive me this, but so long as you feel that way, there is yet another barrier between you and getting what YOU want. Trust me, there is a LOT of that in my sitch too and you know what? I just don't talk with my family about it, and neither does my W. It works a LOT better that way.
Agian, why come here and ask us all to help you when you know damn well that you will not take our advice if it lands you on the $hit list with your family. Why bother?
They are the only way I get around right now. They are the only people I can ask for help. Since I don't have my license I need to not be on their $hitlist.
I never talked to them about the things that were going on with my H and I when we were "working on thing" my famiy didn't really like that. But now that he's leaving me and I'm going to be going to court and such . . I thought they deserved to know. Besides they noticed that I was acting different and that I was VERY upset. I didn't feel the extreme need to lie.
I don't know why I bother GH . . I don't know if I'll ever get it right . . and coming here doesn't seem to be helping. It's only making you all mad and it makes me cry harder. . . because I don't feel that I am doing anything right.
OK gabby . . my kids will either hate me because he fills their heads with crap about me or they will hate me because I tried to do what I thought was best for them and keep them from going and living in someone elses basement with him and his OW for 4 days a month. I AM NOT TRYING TO TAKE AWAY HIS VISITATION RIGHTS. So since they'll hate me either way . . I might as well do I what I see as best.
Sometimes, Emily, the things we say, the things we do to challenge you are to GET YOU TO FIGHT, not run away. You "bother" because somewhere inside that thick skull of yours, you KNOW you want more, you're just not sure how to get it. That's what we are TRYING, mostly in vein, to do here.
Are they paying for all the things the girls need? They don't pay for anything for the girls. I'm the ONLY one who buys anything . . unless my Mom decides she's feeling generous and buys some diapers.
Are they buying your groceries? No . . again I do.
and how does your sister help?
Does she come watch them so you can get out sometimes? Yes
Is she your transportation when you have to go places? Well not really. My parents are my transportation.
Quote: Sometimes, Emily, the things we say, the things we do to challenge you are to GET YOU TO FIGHT, not run away. You "bother" because somewhere inside that thick skull of yours, you KNOW you want more, you're just not sure how to get it. That's what we are TRYING, mostly in vein, to do here.
I don't even know what I want. I'm so confused. I don't know if I'll ever get myself right enough to ever have a relationship. I feel like everything is my fault. I can't figure out how to fix myself though. I don't know where I need to turn to get on the right path. Right now I merely reacting to his actions. I don't feel capable of doing anything else. If it were up to me he wouldn't be Ding me to be with the OW. He would have choosen me and the girls over her anyday. But that's not the way it is happening . . so now I react to his actions. I know you hate that GH but that's the rut I am stuck it. Once I jump out of that . . maybe this will go someplace. I don't know how to make myself believe that I am doing this because I want to. I DON'T . . . I don't want to get D'd . . . not at all.
