The last conversation you had with your H was bad, but please remember not to base your current emotions on that. He was angry, he lashed out -- he was doing it on purpose, to push you away. That's fine, be pushed away. But don't think that anything he says is true right now. Does he love the OW? I doubt it. Will they get married? We'll see. Does he hate you? Highly unlikely. My H said all kinds of nasty things to me about how he hated me, was disgusted by me, thought I was a terrible wife...and he recanted all of that eventually. Try to remember that he's going through something, too.
It sounds like counseling would be good for you, regardless of what happens with you and your H.
Thanks lizemba . . he's done ALL of this twice before. He said that both of those times he started to miss me and took it all back because he decided he needed more time to decide. He says he hasn't loved me since December . . . etc. . . he just wasn't sure what he really wanted. Now he's finally decided. He says that he is now telling the truth . . he hates me etc. . . and he's NOT coming back. He's finally doing the right thing (leaving me to be with her).
I wish I could call him and talk to him as a friend. Just find out how he's doing and what's going on. I miss him. Oh God . . . I don't want to do this. . . Everyday that passes I sink farther down . . . What the he$% is wrong with me that I can't just pick myself up and move on. I can't believe he's doing all of this and doesn't care at all . . . I can't believe that all the times he said ILY were lies. Why did I do this to myself.
