I can't really add to what the other's have said, but I would like to ask you to correct something in the way you are thinking.
You keep saying you are doing all this because he doesn't want to be with you. You are doing it because he is with OW and loves her, not you. You are doing all of this because you don't have a man that loves you the way a H should love a W.
That is your whole problem. You SHOULD be doing this because you want to be happy. If your primary motive in all this is simply what he DOESN'T or DOES want, then you will NEVER, EVER get it.
How about trying this on for mental size: I am doing this because I want to be, and deserve to be happy and things that are in my life that do not ADD to that happiness I can choose to exclude to the extent I can.
Emily, I too am getting a little frustrated reading your posts but I think if you can refrain from EVER posting another line about how this is all still "for" him, I will be content that I did SOMETHING to help you.
Also, just a small word to help you avoid the wrath of RB, Amy and others. Maybe you ought to read back over some of the previous day's posts on your thread before journaling. If you see that you are still journaling the same issues, the same questions, please, take the time to find where those things were addressed by us, and I assure you they were, and respond to what we said.
I think we all need to see you actually realizing that you've said the same things about 1000 times and it may be time to try somthing new.
