Quote: 3. You take the high road. Make sure that your situation is not like your sister's. You stop the fighting NOW... and work towards making this D amicable so that one is not throwing the kids against the other. You realize that you and H cannot coexist as husband and wife, but you can coexist as Daddy and Mommy to your girls. They grow up knowing that they are loved. They are just a tiny bit screwed up (after all we all are ) Their relationships are good because of what you showed them with yours.
I tried to tell him this when we last talked on the phone.
I said, "It would be so much easier on the kids if we could try to do this pleasantly and remain friends." (I think he's worried if he tries to remain friends with me he'll "fall back in love" with me. My friend said, "Everytime anyone sees you they fall back in love with you . . we all do . . . so you can't blame the guy for being confused." Or he thinks its a ploy for me trying to get him back . . friends on to lover onto staying together sort of thing.) So he said, "I'm done with you. I just want our R over." I said, "I understand that but we could at least try to be civil and work this situation out before we have to go court and fight." He basically replied that if I would just give him what he wants then their would be no fight. I tried explaining my ideas and the reasons they would be good. (Visitation stuff and different things I thought he should know) He just said, "I HATE YOU . . . this convo is over." Hung up.
Right . . . I REALLY did try.
I even said to him, "I wish you would do this with me now while I have a level head and feel like helping you out. For some odd reason I am so mad at you . . but I want to make sure you see your girls and I want to try to make sure that they don't grow up listening to you bad mouth me." He said, "Well who cares your family will fill their heads with crap about me." I replied, "NO they won't . . they've NEVER said one bad thing about Rick (sis's XH) in front of her kids." "Bullshit." Wouldn't listen to me AT ALL about how awful it is when kids go back and forth listening to parents say this and that about the spouse.
