Your idea of meeting with the kids at the parents is a good one if you are concerned that he will 'fill their heads up with crap'. Your kids need to visit with their dad when they can. They NEED to know they are loved by BOTH parents.
Look deep inside. Do you really think that, if you can stay civil with each other, he will want to fill their heads with ANYTHING but love? Even lately he still cares about you and has said so. If you both stay civil your kids will be better off.
Trust me Emily, my father's marriage career included a couple divorces and we WERE the Jerry Springer show. You want problems? Let's see..... 2nd wife ran off (literally) with My dads COUSIN. Left her kids from previous marriages with him. Came back, tried to 'fix things' but decided it wasn't going to happen. So they fight each nite in fron tof us - real fights. People thrown through doors (she was a big woman so it was almost an even match).
Crying all the time.
Then you spend the rest of your childhood hearing about how 'she was trash' (when referring to my mother who my dad left because - he was 23 and she was 21 and he needed to party more. How do you think I felt? My mother is trash? What does that make me? and Wife # 2 had visitation and of course says my father is an A$$hole but she knows I'm a good kid.
Yep. that was a great life.
I hope you want your children to have a better one.
One more thing Emily.....
I care about you and your kids. So does Amy and some other people on the board. We're probably the most sane people you'll ever meet because we've been through stuff as bad as your life feels right now and found ourselves stronger and more mature afterwards.
We were on our 'matchboxes' when we got here. We all started right where you are now. That's why we care so much.
It probably seems realllllllly weird to have people you don't really know say this but then, we know you really well because you are our sister.
