Quote: EITHER WAY . . . I'll accept resposibility for those times.
Only for the part YOU played - he did what he did and is responsible for HIS part. You are not the only person there.
Quote: I don't think that begins to excuse some of the times that he has gotten physical with me though.
No, it doesn't. He was wrong to do those things. Nobody is saying he was right and you were wrong.
Quote: One thing I did want to ask is how do you even see a chance that we'll EVER be together again. He is leaving me so that he can marry her. His mind is made up. She's the one he should have met first. They don't fight like we do. ETC . . .
From my thread on 12/6/2005, the day W got back from flying 3,000 to see OM after a month of Internet and Cell phone pursuit.
Quote: I sat and spoke with W about her trip. She said that her intention on going was to just be friends with OM because her 'spirit guides' told her last week that he wasn't supposed to be a lover in this life. But when she saw him and hugged him 'words could not describe the feelings I had'. It was as if they had know each other forever. It is a deep love she believes she has for him......
She said her mind plays tricks on her feelings that's why she felt the way she did before she left, because of her confusion. But being with him cleared that up and she was in love.
She said she was sorry for putting me through this, that she didn't intend on this happening but she can't help it and is living in the moment. .....
She says she can be friends with me, and still live in the same house but wonders why I would put myself through this. I told her because I care and I want to be a friend, not an enemy. She was annoyed that I was talking about this with her, she felt uncomfortable. She also was very emotionally distant like she has been lately.
And to update you, after 3 months of this crap she realized he was BS'ing her, and she was living in a fantasy life, that he had MORE problems than she did. When she started to let the problems in her life get into their 'relationship' he didn't want to hear it. Wake up call for her that HE was crap.
It ended, she crashed emotionally and kept pursuing Divorce until I told her she could have it, I was going on with my life, we were not going to be friends but we would be on friendly terms. That woke her up then.
Now we're reconciled.
So, with your H and his fantasy, well it takes about 6 months for real life problems to interfere with the 'wonderfulness' of NO problems. Remember that he is going to be on the road a lot so he will not be giving a lot of energy to this situation. OW is going to be alone and they will both feed off the fantasy. It's stupid but it is what it is until the endorphins wear off.
Quote: I'm still having a hard time accepting that he is with someone else "so soon" in that serious of a relationship . . . but it's a low grade feeling.
He's with a low grade person. She has to be as screwed up as he is. HERE is a good article on types of affairs.
Quote: It's not panic or rage. Just an ache . . .
Time will take care of this . . . I will grow and learn. . . it will be a while before I am with anyone else I'm sure. Not that opinions are great in this area
The drama in your writing is interesting, but is it really helping you to play the victim? Stop the dramatics - this is your LIFE. This is NOT Jerry Springer or a soap opera.
