Moving Along OR Just Spinning My Wheels?

[RBinBR]

The times that I got in his way he'd just push me aside and go where he was he going.

My W did this to me a couple of times early in our marriage, trying to block the door of our apartment so that I couldn't leave (and cool off), because she wanted to "finish the argument" (translation: she wasn't done yelling yet). One of the times when she fought to keep me from walking out the door, she ended up with a big bruise on her arm. She then showed it to her father and said that I had an anger problem. The fact is, however, that SHE made a verbal argument into a physical one. She wouldn't acknowledge that she got the bruise because SHE couldn't control her anger.

That's why I've been following this line of questioning, Emily. You need to take responsibility for YOUR own role in those physical altercations. YOU decided to use force at times to attempt to control your H. It didn't work, because your H is stronger than you, but you would probably have beat him up some too, if you could.

So, now you want to say that he's abusive because of the way that he's been physical at times? I agree that he has been abusive, and that's one more reason why I think you need some separation. But, Emily, you also need to look in the mirror and recognize that you MUST deal with your own anger problem if you are to have a good marriage (ultimately with your H, or with someone else). Remember when you said "anger makes me feel free"?

For what it's worth, I also don't think it's Christian for you to judge him for a problem that you also have.