Just to be clear, it's pure BS for either of you to use the kids against the other. Him doing it is no better.
I know in my sitch, the mere MENTION to my W that the courts would possibly (I have NO idea if this could happen) give me 60-40 custody or even somehow FULL custody made her break down into a trembling mass of humanity. I may not have meant to, but in telling her that, I was using the kids to get to her. I was wrong to do that and immediatly told her so. Your H is wrong to do it. You are wrong to do it. Those girls have a right to see BOTH of you unless, as you suggest, he would be abusive and then it's whole different story.
