Just got off the phone with my H (he called) Said he talked to Cassie and they are fine. He's going to stay with her . . . and probably marry her etc.
He's through with me and never coming back (I told him that's fine I wouldn't want him to. My heart is breaking though . . . I feel like I lied.)
I am BAWLING . . I have to stop this.
I tried to talk to him a little about the custody stuff (hoping that we could get out of big long court thing) . . . he only got mad. Not worth my time. He got really mad when he mentioned me taking them around another man. I told him flat out . . you're damn right I'm going to find them another dad. I told him that in a few months Felina won't remember him and then I could bring anyone around and she'd learn to know them as a daddy (if that's what it ended up being.) He just told me, "I hate you." Point is . . .
There really isn't one.
I've lost my H to OW. He won't even be civil with me on the phone. He said this lasttime he was going to try to come back to me . . but decided I wasn't what he wanted . . . she is/was.
I wish I had a OM . . so that I wouldn't have to hurt like this. I guess that's the problem . . I HATE BEING ALONE.
A person should be able to be alone. I mean it's not like he was ever here.
He said he was sorry he hurt me but he's not sorry for what he's doing now because he really loves her.
I guess I was the biggest mistake of his life.
I know this is all I've went off about tonight. But I am not in the right mind frame to think about forward movement . . . I need to cry and get this all out . . . so tomorrow I can start my new life.
