Amy your post made me cry.

I hate that all of this is happening.

When he left me in May. . . I had to get on the state assistance programs and that's when I filed the child support.
I am taken care of for now.

I am applying (actually turning it in tomorrow) for a job at the local highschool. My family is big into that school (my mother and sister both taught their . . my brother was/is best friends with the superintendant.) not that it garuantees me a job . . but it might help me get my foot in the door.

I choose the Vet Assis. program because I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ANIMALS . . all through highschool I had what everyone lovingly called a "zoo" in my bedrooms.
My animals where always well taken care and when my vet didn't know what was wrong with my iguanas I always nursed them back to health.
I miss them all sooo much.
I cry for my dog all the time . . .she was really my best friend.
Anywho . . I've always really wanted my own petshop . . . I'd love to be a breeder.
I figured I could at least help take care of peoples animals for them . . since I'm not in a position to have any right now.

OK let me go back to my sitch for a minute.

Cassie (the OW) is very distraught. . . she said she was done with him. But I'll bet they'll stay together.
Hopefully she'll make him happier than I did. Doubt it.
She called me again today (so two times total) with more question about different lies he had told.
and asked me if he called me "butterfly" . . . I guess that's her "pet name" from him.
I told her no I was "babygirl" . .

I am trying to handle this with as much compassion and self respect as possible.

I understand now that my marriage is over NO MATTER WHAT . . . but it doesn't help the heartache . . or the extreme sense of loss.
I just have to push my way through.

Sorry guys looks like there won't be any great DBing sucess story coming out of this situation. . . .

I hope that it's OK if I post my way through the divorce though . . .
is there a forum just for that?
I really would love to keep coming here . . you guys motivate me the most . . . and kick me in rear and make me swallow the drama and keep truckin.
Thank YOU ALL!!

I could use some advice on how exactly to get myself to let go . . and accept the fact that I love him and he obviously doesn't love me . . . it's over.
I mean I know that . . but I'm having a hard time accepting it.
I know it's a choice . . . but what do I tell myself to make the choice????