Well, you get your child support in order, just like you have done.
You get out occasionally and take a break.
Maybe get at least a part time job.
Do you have a sitter?
Someone that wouldn't cost you an arm and a leg?
Look into all the assistance that is available through your social services office. It's okay to get help. You need it.
Just don't let it become a crutch. This is where you are going to pick up the reins and take charge of your own life.
Finish your Vet. Asst. course. It's a way to get a foot in the door and could lead to an even more fulfilling future...why did you choose the Veterinary Asst. course?
You might also ask yourself if you want to go back to school in a real classroom. You might qualify for a Pell Grant among other things. Whatever you do though, the key is that you DON'T stop here. Believe me, I know what it's like to be afraid. I was that way when I was just a couple years older than you. I had come out of the Air Force with a baby in tow and no "baby daddy" .
I had to live with my mother.
Whew, that was a freakin TREAT .
Anyway, by the time my son was 2, I met my husband, we married, I had another baby and that's when I lost my entire focus. It became all about the kids and my husband. Sadly, in THAT order, too. When they were finally both in school I did not know what to do with myself, had ZERO self-confidence as to how to even really communicate with another adult that wasn't a family member.
I'd sheltered myself and wrapped everything around raising the kids. I remember I used to look at the awards and letters of recommendation that I came out of the AF with and think "where IS that girl?"...
Anyway now I know that I allowed all that crap to go on because I was afraid.
I really didn't WANT to be a grown up...
I had to have a mid-life crisis before I finally knew what the hell life was REALLY all about...and yes, it IS all about family but it is also about being a functional, contributing member of society as well.
Feeling like you're doing something worthwhile...that you MATTER.
I now work in a law office.
I can do a paralegal's job and I only have a sporadic college background.
I got a call just yesterday about a job that may even pay more than this one. YIPPEE.
Emily, I turned 37 years old in May and I JUST bought my own car in December 2004. Up til then it was one clunker after another. Lord, the stories I can tell about those hunks of junk....one literally burst into flames in the grocery store parking lot right after me and the kids slammed the doors shut & were walking up to the entrance!
But NOW I drive a 2003 Dodge Stratus and while it sure isn't the hottest thing going 'round, she's pretty as hell and she's mine and I have never missed a payment or even been late. It took me a LONG time to be able to do anything for myself. You're only 21, you can overcome this hardship and SOAR.
Just believe in yourself and don't settle for anything less than your best...and that's from INSIDE of yourself AND from the things you allow to go on AROUND you.
As for him, I'll just say this...
...dirt on the bottom of your shoes.
.
.
