Emily, let me say one more thing to clarify. I am frustrated at seeing people stuck because they CHOOSE to remain so but act like a victim of some unseen forces of nature.
If you came here and said "you know what guys, I am going to sit here in my house, wait for him to come back and accept the pain that may cause, all the while being the best mom I can be." then I think many people may try to get you to do something else, but I would HOPE they would respect the fact that you actually CHOOSE to do something instead of feeling powerless.
In fact, you ARE making a choice not to do anything but you're not owning that decision and keep posting how much it hurts, as if you aren't part of the problem. Your pain, as expressed in terms of what HE has done to you does not exist. You are allowing yourself to feel pain because of what he's done. What he's done has no more power over you than you let it have. Emotions are strong yet temporary and once they ease off a bit, it's up to each of us to make the decision NOT to wallow in them anymore.
So, if it helps at all, I think you need to make a decision, ANY decision and then work towards achieving the goals that come from that. Constantly posting that you don't know what to do is ringing a little hollow these days. You DO know what to do, you just haven't decided to DO it yet.
