I am sooo frustraighted tonight.
I was hoping he would call me today and at least let me know what was going.
I understand that him "needing time to think" takes more than a day. I don't want him to make the decision too quickly . . nor do I want him to take forever or think it's OK to walk away from us without another call.
He's busy . . that's all.
That's probably not totally true . . . but hey! I have to try and think positive.
My marriage may well be over even if we both decided we'd like to stay.
I am trying to face that.
I sat staring at Kiya . . . and bawling just a little while go.
I just kept thinking that she'll never really know her daddy.
He might not always be all lovie dovie but he loves his girls whole heartedly. Felina adores him even though she doesn't see him that often.
I see so much of him in these girls . . . I wanted them to see the diversity that he brings and understand that everyone is worthwhile.
Oh my . . .
I just can't help but grieve the tremendous loss that I feel.
Like part of me has been ripped away. . .
and then I think of my girls . . . my poor beautiful girls.
Who have nothing to do with problem . . . but they have to suffer ALL the consiquences.
I am going to go watch some TV . . try to get my mind out of overdrive and go to bed.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
.
