1) This latest crisis is not your fault. 2) You and your girls are going to be OK.
I want you to know that I can see that you are trying to work on yourself, but I think it's impossible under the circumstances.
You and your H both need some space. I believe that it would do both of you a lot of good to spend a couple of months without contacting each other (use email if necessary to communicate about finances).
He's not ready for any kind of relationship with you, and he won't be until if and when he grows up. You can't save him, and you can't make him do anything. You need to set him free so that he can figure out on his own if he wants a marriage with you.
In the meantime, a couple of months with no contact will do wonders for your life. You won't be constantly worried about what he's doing or what he's going to say to you or if he's coming to visit as promised. It will do wonders for your ability to develop your own life and you end up much more relaxed.
So, I really think you should calmly ask him this evening not to call or visit for the next two months ... that both of you need the space to figure out what you want out of life.
Emily, if you do this, though, you will need to be very strong and resist any and all temptations to call him until the two months is up. This is very, very important.
Take care.
RB
PS
Quote: He is still leaving tonight because "he needs time to think and clear his head before he goes on the road."
If he's going to clear it, he'll have to pull it out of his a$$ first.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
