I am changing my thinking about the affair and everything to deal with that. I honestly am this time. Cross my heart . . I've been doing much better. I still pour some lemon juice on it from time to time . . and it definately still hurts but I am learning to let go.
I mean you all are always telling me to TAKE CARE OF ME . . to detach from him to not make myself reliant on him. Plan and simple . . if we move . . .I would be semi-reliant on him at leat for awhile.
I am trying to do that. Does that mean that he and I couldn't live together agian. Certainly not . . . but maybe right now it needs to be on my terms NOT his. He can come back here and stick it out with me for awhile . . . and if things change then I will consider putting myself in that EXTREMELY uncomfortable position. BUT . . at this stage in the game . . I am not willing to take a leap of faith based on anything he is doing or saying.
Like I said he seems to be taking backwards steps again. . . everyone backslides . . but he has to live his life right and prove that he's man . . . or the girls and I simply cannot stay with him.
I never realized exactly how I felt about it all. Thanks for pushing me Amy.
Maybe I'm going about this all wrong . . but I have protect myself and my girls . . no more leaps of faith for Emily.
