Amy . . I understand completely what you are saying. I know that I would have a job, because just like you said . . I am going to finish my schooling and get that extra diploma! BUT . . . he's talking about moving to like Texas. So . . . I doubt that what I would be making in a job that I would have would cover all the rent and bills. Besides I wouldn't have car. The car we have now is totally in his name . . . as I imagine the next one will be too! He makes sure that the bigger things we have are only in his name . . then I can't stake claim to them. I would really be up $hit creek without a paddle. I suppose that's another stepping outside of my comfort zone things. But right now I have an apartment and I DON'T need him to support me AT ALL. If he walks away I will be totally fine. If we move like that it would take me longer to get to a point where I could say that I could cover EVERYTHING. That scares me because he's not reliable in our relationship. I am scared that we move and have big bills . . . and before I could get on my feet the job and everything he would run . . and leave me stranded with no car and not enough money to take care of myself and the girls. I don't want that uncertainty.
Maybe you're right and he's waiting for me to get the whole way on board. But I'm wondering if my behaviour this past weekend didn't scare him off and make him second guess his decision to come back. Then again maybe I'm just not giving him enough of a chance to prove that he really wants this to work out this time. I don't want to be making the wrong moves by holding myself back from this reconcilation. But I don't want to jump in with both feet like I did the last time and have him do what he did.
