Wow, I didn't mean to bring chaos to this sitch!!!
Grasshopper, thanks for your support of me. I truly believed everything TG told not only me, but to everyone else on the board. And as I think TTH said, the truth is probably someplace in between.
TTH, Please forgive me if I offended you. I am mostly on the board now to try and help others, and I certainly didn't mean to make you feel bad by coming off as cold and harsh.
Because I suggested mental health counseling shouldn't be taken as an offense against you. You wrote that you were in pain. Counseling is to help people who are hurting so much. I'm in counseling by myself, and also with my WAH. I highly recommend it for everyone who comes to this board. Of course, the right counselor is essential. The wrong one, or one not experienced in M counseling (I feel the person should be married) may do more harm than good.
If God created all things and all things are love and good, then satan/evil is love going backwards. If we look for the good and love in everyone we will find it. If we are on the lookout for bad things, injustices, people who are or have been cheating on us (and I'm not particularly referring to your H) we are sure to come up with these things.
I'm searching for peace and happiness--just like you. I'm sorry if I believed someone who may have been lying. But this isn't the point--for me or for you!!
I still say if you really love your H, give it up!!!! If he bought the materials or slept with the women or didn't sleep with them won't do you any good to know or go over and over. It will only bring you more pain. If you were living with him at the time, this obviously would be a much different story. He led me and others to believe that you wanted a divorce. He said that you talked to him about it and to other people--that you even asked what would be the cheapest way to go about it. I still believe most of what he said to me. He may have been a good liar, but I think that most of the time (yes, there are exceptions) we intuitively can sense when a person is lying.
One other point, which is in no way condoning or taking lightly your accusations of this alleged infidelity, but men and women do see sexual encounters differently.
Basically (not always), when a woman has sex, she usually bonds pretty strongly with the man. The man, on the other hand, can do it without this strong emotional bond, due to his biological nature. So even if your allegations are true, this doesn't mean that he didn't love you.
Okay, can we call a truce. TTH? Your are right I do not know you, but I don't want you to feel that I don't empathize with you. After all, I am a woman who is still trying to win her H back, and much of the time I'm also in pain--though it says in the Bible that we have no right to experience pain and anxiety if we are one with God. I feel that I'm becoming more and more spiritual every day and am on the path to healing whatever happens in my sitch.
I also feel that every negative encounter that we experience with another person (yes, even a thought) makes our seratonin level drop, lowers our immune system, creates more pain and unhappiness in our lives, and basically takes us from our Source/God. Not only does this harm us, but the person with whom we bestow this negative energy upon also reaps this low energy and all of the consequences that it brings.
The tangled web can be straightened if we forgive and make up our minds that we won't let it become more tangled by dwelling on it. If we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.
