--Doing a 180 doesn't mean you tell him to move out. It means you react differently to things than you used to. Do you bring up the Ow all the time?? Then just act as if she doesn't exist. Bringing up an Ow just pushes your H towards her. Do you do things for your H around the house?? Stop doing them. Let him see what it will be like without you. More importantly focus on YOU!!! Make changes in you and for you. Unfortunately until your H ends the affair, reconciliation is impossible. ~Carey
--If you have only started to become very good friends, she is not ready to hear about your feelings. Keep doing what you have been doing. Solidify your friendship. Let her take the lead. These things have to go very ssslllooowwwlllyyy. If you star to tell her about your feelings that will be putting pressure on her and thus push her away. I speak from experience. ~Patience
--Maybe things are better if you and your W don't talk about personal things. I think that little by little you will both start getting comfortable with each other talking business, and maybe slowly the personal stuff will come out. She might need to know that there's no pressure to be personal. You first have to figure yourself out. Someone told me once, that while I was married, I did everything to please him and not have any trouble. Because of this I started chipping away at pieces of myself. I became someone else. I now have to refind myself, become me again. Then I will be completely comfortable and happy with myself. The thing is that I do see how that happened. I was always trying to please him. I did everything for him and left me alone. This guy was right, I wasn't me anymore. I held back a lot for H. ~joannyd
