I think it sounds great shippd, but knowing you, I am a bit worried because I KNOW there will be times in the near future where your W will SEEM to be pulling back and NOT in a good mood, about life, or you, or the marriage, etc. You did not react well to those moments the last time she "came back" so I hope you learned from that and know what you need to do this time.
Please remember last night for as long as you can and believe that beneath it all, no matter what the days following brings in terms of her emotions, or words, that she WANTS to make things work but like you, she has her moments where she just doesn't know how to do that. Support her in her efforts to come back to you by TRULY dropping your expectations.
I will remind you of something that my W told me that litterally is the single biggest factor in keeping me on my DB path. She told me that one of the worst parts of our marriage, our relationship in genreal, is how she was never allowed to be unhappy. She ALWAYS had to be happy because to be otherwise made ME unhappy, upset and angry. She said it was like carrying this HUGE burden around all the time. She said it was like carrying a cross...the cross of my happiness. When I heard this, I immediatly knew what she meant and decided then and there that no matter what, I was no longer going to make HER responsible for my emotional state. I was NOT going to persecute her for feeling down. I was not going to try to fix her anymore.
You know what? EVERY TIME I SUCCESSFULLY DO THAT, and face one of her "down" times that I used to take SO personally, i.e. "if I was a good enough H, she would be happy" or "if our marriage was good enough, she would not be sad" etc, I AM ALWAYS REWARDED by her actually being ok after awhile.
I have finally figured out that IT'S NOT ALWAYS about me, EVEN IF SHE SAYS IT IS. If I just validate her, give her a hug when she seems to need one, and then LEAVE HER ALONE, she usually gets all she needs from me and is fine.
Shippd, I have long thought that your sitch was PERFECT for reconciliation but YOU were a large part of the barrier to it because you are SO attached to your W's emotions. I think if you can recognize that your W's intentions are the same as yours but that she is entitled to her moments of feeling down and confused, then you will do fine.
Please shippd, as we have been telling you, recognize how lucky you are and sieze this new opportunity to show your W that YOU are committed to building this new R with her and how YOU can be different this time.
I really think this is GREAT news and if you seem to be forgetting what happened last night, I will copy and paste it constantly into future posts, lol.
Last thing. Remember that you STILL cannot take everything at face value. Believe the underlying goal she expressed and understand that there will STILL be tests for you to pass.
