Well I do see some familar names! Yeah this sure has been a long haul, if someone would have told me at the beginning of this that it would have taken this long, well I wouldn't have beleived them. There were many, many times that I did want to bail and just go my own way. I have two very good cyber freinds, both of them posted here back when I was more of a regular, that kept me on the narrow path and kept me hanging on to this marriage. Without them I don't know that I'd still be married.
Just a brief update, the op doesn't give up, the calls continue, but my H retrieved the last of his things from ow's place last night. She called the house last week to ask me to pass on a message to my H cause he's not taking her calls (she is desparate). I just listened and told her I'll pass the message on, which I did and he didn't call her either, said she's leaving all kinds of messages and he's not talking to her (well he does, but he chooses when. Just the outright nerve of this woman is amazing, she just doesn't have a clue. In some ways I feel pity for her, that at her age she's acting like 16 year old whose boyfriend just dumped her, yet not getting the message that HE did dump her.
My H told me the other night that he's home for our son (like I haven't heard that one before and his actions say different) and that we'll work on our relationship and see how things go. Well it's all we can do at this point, one day at a time. It took some pressure off of me, I was relieved when he said this, like I didn't have to make any big changes, doing things for him or "people pleasing" (Joyce Meyer has a great book on this by the way) him maybe, I did get out of that role and do NOT want to go back there. I can continue on the path that I have been on this last year without trying to change myself to suit why he wasn't happy in the first place, what caused him to wander. Which were more excuses than anything else and also things we can now work on and work out. I said to him, "oh so you're going to keep her in the background" to which he repled "No, I told her to hit the road" and that she "just hasn't got the message yet." Ow's old tactics are not working on my H anymore, I beleive he's made up his mind "that she has to go" and isn't going to change it, but she is still pursuing.
I spoke via email with his SIL yesterday and she knew that he had moved back, which surprised me, and she said that she was very happy for us and that she had been praying for me for along time. So now I'm wondering what exactly did happen between them, what caused him to be drawn back to his family and away from her, in time I'm sure it will come out.
Overall, life is good in a way that it never has been up till now!!!
