Hi gang, just thought I'd post how it all turned out.

Let's see... up into late April, WAS was making sounds about missing me, having regrets (not saying she wanted to turn things around, mind you), saying it wasn't that OM was this great love, just that he was there for her at the time... crying on the phone over how things went wrong with us, telling me she thinks I'm an "amazing" person, missing me more than ever before, thinking about me a lot of the time...

She stepped up contact with phone calls; we started talking about what did go wrong between us and why, and what we should've done instead, understanding each other. She'd call back to speak more about, telling me she found it healing and informative...

Ended up with her coming out to see me perform at the end of May, which in and of itself was another Hmmm? moment, considering that it was the memorial day holiday and there she was without OM, travelling 150 miles to spend some time seeing me. So, I'm thinking: who, having moved on with another person and new life, revisits their ex like this two years later and makes these sounds?... anyway, I asked her what all her sounds were about and that's when I got this answer:

"Oh, I'm sorry of you got the wrong message! I'm happy where I am! I'm in 'another place'".

THAT finally did it. Yeah, I had thought maybe, maybe she was turning around slowly, but now I got that she's still screwed up in not letting go, not wanting to release her option (me), travelling all this way to see if I was still there for her. That's my best guess; seems to fit. Who makes these sounds and travels 150 miles, but then maintains where they are and denies the mixed messages... only someone who's not dealing straight, I think.

Yeah, I had been awfully nice and taking the high road and letting the past go best possible and forging ahead, but this was the camel's straw in that I just couldn't continue being reeled in to her dysfunctional stuff anymore.

So I cut her off. For my sake, and hers... She tried emailing and calling for a couple of weeks to get me to respond and fell back to her "I'm thinking about you all the time, missing you, I worry about you" and I could only see that now as more of the same, trying to reel me back in. It's not about any concern for me, I don't think... it's more about her insecurities - that she wanted to see if I was OK... with her.

I sent a short email to her letting her know I'm fine and busy and I haven't spoken to her since. Sure, I guess I could get into why I didn't want to talk to her anymore, but I figured, at the time, what's the point of discussing anything at all with her. Who cares about discussing ut? Just do it, you know?

Anyway, what else is going on with my life... oh, there was a lovely gal I got involved with in the Spring, but she turned out to be a commitment phobe too, and that made me think, OK, why am I attracted to these types??... though I enjoyed every moment up until the WTF breakup point, but at least I could figure out the WTF this time around. And I picked myself up rather easily, knowing it wasn't me this was about, and kept on going, and lo and behold did meet someone else, out of the blue, and so far, so great She's about a dozen years younger than me, and a former beauty queen to boot, very sweet and a dry wit that makes me laugh a lot and the more she's gotten to know me, the more she adores me. All good stuff!!!

Well, maybe that's just good ol' Karma!

Did have the CD I composed/perform come out and you can hear a bunch of sample tracks from it on by clicking here (OK, so that's a shameless plug). I'm also in the midst of directing rehearsals of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest for performances next month, which is coming along, if anyone's in the area and would like to see it, tickets can be had at Ovation Tix

If anything else interesting happens, I'll try and post. But there's some glitches on this DB site that keep knocking out my anti-virus program!

Hope you're all having a great summer, and please, please don't permit your WASs to drag you down or be the mind-f*cks that they are! Remember: You may be screwed up right now, but they're really SCREWED UP and they're better at it! And if they don't/can't change, they're not worthy nor capable of being with you in the way you'd really want, and, believe it or not, your happiness is NOT dependent on them or their whims at all, nor should it EVER be.