oh, i am definitely not going to get involved w/ the female thing - that part of it is me venting more then anything else.
i have tried to be more upbeat and appreciative so she knows the last few days have been phenominal - and so far, so good....i have caught myself about a million times from saying something stupid about what i havent gotten, especially since i am aware of her deal now. so we shall see where that gets us
i know we will have our peaks and valleys even after this, but to see the energy level somewhat similar - its a relief since i thought it was gone. i mean, a couple of years of not seeing it can do that to you.
Oh believe me...every single one of us knows exactly how you feel...we've all BTDT. It is frustrating and disheartening to feel like what you had is gone, it's difficult to see that most likely that's still there...it's just buried under some crap that has to be dealt with
I’m having a real hard time following your posts. You talk about “it” and “things” without once mentioning exactly what you mean. Your messages are very cryptic. This board is anonymous, why don’t you just come out and say what it is that bothers you. If you are talking about blow jobs, anal sex, whatever, then say so. I wonder if this is uncomfortable for you and if your communication with your wife is as cryptic as your posts? If so, then I would think she has a hard time reading you too.
i was just trying not to get too graphic - believe me, i have absolutely no problem talking about this.
basically, the problem is my W will not allow me to touch her (penetrating in any way), kiss her, lick her, do anything that involves her kitty or backside. If I do get to touch below the waist, it is at the very very top of the kitty, in a rubbing fashion -or- just the normal grabbing of the azz (almost like the baseball player slapping).
I know the rubbing gets her off or helps - and i dont mind, but sometimes there is the urge and desire to want to do more then just rub in that one spot.. If I even try anything else the attempt is thwarted. because of all that denial, I have looked for alternative means to spice things up (anal, different places/positions, or just getting off on different parts of her body) - all of which ick her out in some way - basically the attempts for all of that were denied. and i have asked before attempting and all - to try and show some respect since it was new and different.
i have just started questioning all of this and it was brought to my attention there was a good reason for it. it still doesnt explain the last couple of years, but it does explain recently. is that clear?
i have read thru it. it made sense. i am trying to apply some of what has been discussed throughout here to every day living and my approaches w/ the W. it has helped in some cases. i feel i have made some strides in my overall behavior and approach; it shows.
I still catch myself from time to time falling backwards - more because of the inpatience and HD feeling - but all in all, progress (not perfection) is what i am seeking right now and so far, so good.
the biggest thing for me right now is just slowing it down and trying to talk myself into understanding. its alot easier said then done
Well, what a difference a week makes? i think i can say that this weekend had it all and i think (you guys can confirm for me) that I stood my ground for a change....
The weekend followed the same routine as the week, which actually made it fun and pleasureable. problem was last night, which to me was when the real hiccup came. to keep this short: kids went up, W and I were watchin TV when we started to fool around. i was thinking, this is good until because for once it just seemed right. Then i realized W was more interested in watching the end of the show more then me. it was devestating to me because she was allowing me to do some of the things that i couldnt do for so long, yet it did nothing for her (you could tell since she was glued to the tube); so i stopped - cold turkey, just stopped (that was so damn hard)
she called me on it. why did you stop? i told her that i could not, would not be a part of any intimacy where there was no interest from the other end. W told me she wanted to catch the end of the show. i said, you knew things were progressing, you allowed it, even commented on what i was doing (and how much you were enjoying it), then proceeded to allow me to progress further. Then you got preoccupied with something else (the tv), so I obviously wasnt doing something right. so i stopped, i am done.
you can tell that she got annoyed, but that was it for me. i was happy that i stood my ground on this one. a few minutes later i started the conversation to figure out what the deal was... it was obvious to me she realized where i was coming from because she made it clear where her attention was devoted once i started up the conversation.
I dont know.. to me, the weekend had it all, but i would have had to rate it as one of the better ones because of where all of this ended.
well, cause my logic is: if you are really into someone,something then there is nothing that can distract you. i mean, it didnt distract me -- and believe me, i wanted to watch the show - i just was going along with things and didnt think of it.
in any event - i think its safe to say i am going to have store this one in the vault in my head. lets just hope i dont forget the combo or where i placed it
