I'm sure it's not any comfort to you but I thought this exact same thing once (RIGHT NOW, i am giving up on what i know are my needs).
Yes, it feels that way...but guess what? You aren't receiving those things right now anyway area you? It does feel like giving up/giving in when you let go....what it is in actuality though, is dropping the reins....and working on the long-term goal. Turn internally and work on the issues within you that you need to work on Andy (patience, appearing stronger to your W etc). It is not giving up on your needs, it is doing the work within yourself to get to your goal. You won't truly see that though until you start to see your W respond as a result...but you won't see that until you make changes within you and stop focusing on her etc.
Andy, you aren't wasting anyone's time here unelss there's something you aren't telling us. It's my impression though, that you are just simply at a place we've all been too. It takes time to accept some of the things you're being told...right now you are so very focused on what you aren't getting, that it's difficult to see yourself doing what it is we have recommended.
