we do have kids, 2... so yes - that is one of the glues holding this together right now. i have read thru almost every post around here. i am trying to suck up information (me like a sponge -- maybe my next name - spongebob squarepants ).
i can see where the approaches differ but the end result (or attempt at it) remains the same... so, obviously something needs to give.
i also agree, to an extent, that some of this offloading is because of the fear of abandonment, acceptance, etc. on my part.
as far as complaints on me, as far as i know, they have been few. the ones that she has told me about, i have worked extremely hard in correcting and i felt i have made progress, yet again, i dont see much of a change in her approaches towards anything. i guess that is where some anger and resentment come from for me.
yes, i have decisions i can make - none of them being pretty in my book. and i am at fault for giving her this power. i guess some of my fear now is if i start calling her on it, it will just drive us even further apart since it almost caused a split up once before...
).