ok Andy.

I dont know how long you have been lurking but there are behaviors that turn women off. <click> turning them back on again...well Im sure you have seen the photo that floats around the internet from time to time. So many buttons where to start. j/k

How old are you and your W, how long have you been married.
Ive read thru the limited commnents you have posted so far and I am going to pull out various sentences, as examples, that hint to me that the problems are outside the bedroom.
Your W is having sex with you but she is resentful about something. A generic guess is lack of EC, and you 'understanding' her.

Things that are not working for you need to be stopped.
What things are not working for you?
Make a list. Then stop doing them. It doesnt have to make sense to you. Monitor the results.

Ive said this over and over, but just in case, (I should just put it in my sig)
Supplicating, placating and self denigrating are repulsive to women. Identify what this behavior looks like and sounds like. If you are afraid of her reactions, and you dont want to upset her, if you are stuffing your emotions and 'trying to be nice' to her, then you are engaging in all of them

here is an example
Sweety, i want to let you know that i havent been that happy lately because i have been feelin neglected physically This is placating. Your trying to spare her from your feelings. I can imagine the bodylanguage that goes along with such a sentence. seeking, needy, almost desperate for her to 'understand'.
It would be far better to tell her flat out, 'Im not happy with our sex life.' There are other ways to do it, but you need to feel them.

Because I have gotten tired of tryin to make moves and constantly being told no. It is rejection to me, makes me feel like i am not wanted
So stop.

but i cant have you around here if you are goin to continue to act this way and get upset everytime you get turned away
This is a time for you to listen. repeat it back to her in a question. Act what way? do not flinch when she tells you. just listen. Ask her how she would respond if you were to reject her. be prepared to listen somemore.

There is a power imbalance in your R. she threatens you with leaving, crys and yells, and you begin to 'toe the line' again. and or leave her alone. she gets what she wants by crying and yellings and your reinforce this behavior.
Control your reactivity to her hurtful comments. Be prepared to let her cry and tantrum. Its not your job to fix or to eliminate her discomfort. If she needs space at some point..let her have it. Dont chase after her. Say ok we will talk about this when you have calmed down again.
This will make her mad.
Oh well. she is not being honest with you, and or you didnt hear her woman code in the past.

i made one wrong comment and i got the what are you trying to do? I explained to her that I was just going along with the conversation. we were laughing, she had described some things that happened, we both made a couple of comments, so i continued to go along -- until i heard, essentially, NO!

I see this recurring element happening when you cross one of her lines, she ways What are you doing, sort of seizing the power, taking a bad boy dont make mommy unhappy type of dynamic. Then you try to explain to mommy why you were doing it. You have to stop that. I call it logicalling. It only results in placating or supplicating.
Has it ever worked for you? Or does it just leave you frustrated? What would a different response be?

i romanced her with dates, flowers, cards, letters (actual mailed), nights out and i still cant seem to get beyond
IF this was done to try to get something from her, if the thought occured to you maybe she will like me more for this, it was supplicating. Your trying to buy favor...

ok as far as in the bedroom, Mrs Nop .. I think... made a post about HD being willing to settle for low quality sex... cant find it right now. HP mentioned this to you allready too.
In general though, Do not take NO personally. Do not let it have any effect on you. What is the worst thing that can happen when she says no?
She cant trust you, cant feel safe, when you take it personally. These barriers are internal and how many exist are directly proportional to the respect and power you have in the rest of the relationship. When she says no Immediatly stop and go back to what you were doing. She is not telling you no --so much as telling herself no --to protect herself emotionally. Give her the time it takes to move on to the next step. IF you cant get to the next step if she keeps up the no. stop.
Unreactively say ok, and quit. Its her hangup its not your problem. Some behaviors that work. Savoring the moment, anticipation, and teasing.

keep going cause its obvious from sound she is enjoying and then BAM! and brain goes.... WTF? keep going isnt working. so what would a 180 be? do something different. She is not a man, dont give her what you want. But do by all means Tell her and Teach her exactly what you want. not just in the bedroom. Dont try to show her by doing it for her.

Why would you care what her reaction to you reading PBTS is? If she asks-- ask her back...why do you think I am?

What is a list of things that she would like and needs from you? are you doing it?