oh and now that i am miserable ... how do i tell her what is on my mind? god, i feel like an idiot and a fool. i mean, i am tired of talking, i am numb to the whole idea of facing her anymore - in any way because it is obvious how different we are in this area (and yes, it is important to me -- i dont think it is to her)
talking does nothing, my actions do nothing - at least that is how i feel.
UGH - UGH -- UGH -- QUADRUPLE UGH! sorry - had to vent... ok - i feel a little better, but not much. time to play a video game and relieve some of this stress
... how do i tell her what is on my mind? god, i feel like an idiot and a fool. i mean, i am tired of talking, i am numb to the whole idea of facing her anymore - in any way because it is obvious how different we are in this area (and yes, it is important to me -- i dont think it is to her) 
