well, now, this is the first time i can sit here and say, i think i get it. i dont like it, i dont like the idea of any of what i am going to have to do, but i am willing to do it.
I guess my fear in all of this is: Not only am I changing who I am, but also how I am acting.. maybe not permanently, but at least temporarily as I help my W through a difficult time (in a sense). Changing is not the fear, its the fear in me changing in HOPES that my W turns around into the partner that wants to share the same experiences as me -- its the I am walking by a huge cliff without knowing where it ends. if she doesn't eventually change, then I am going to fall hard and fast.
Now I know there is no time table to this and it will be a trial... but i have a feeling i will know the right time to determine if there is any hopes whatsoever...
i am looking up the book now. I guess my next question is: do i dare try and read this thing in front of her? I ask because night would be best time and we do spend some time with one another. i know if i do, the questions will fly and well - i know how i am going to respond to just about any question she could possibly throw at me.... as i stated earlier, in her mind - as far as i know (she told me) - things are perfect between us
I have to believe her.... i mean, when she asks me what i think, i express where my concerns are (still gets me nowhere), so why wouldnt i get the same courtesy?
