well... again, when she says no - yes, i do know what she is saying no to. because every time i hear it, i ask and eveyrtime i get disappointed because i just dont understand the reasoning. yes, there is always enjoyment, until i want to do more and the reasons are always the same: its not the right time, i still have female issues, i am not comfortable with that, i dont like that.
its like clockwork, i know the responses and the reactions and that is proof everytime i hear NO.
Ok...so just to have this question asked. have you asked her when is a good time to approach her? What type of female problems? Waht would it take for her to be comfortable with it? And...by "it" is it just sex in general, just intercourse...something else?
I have never asked when a good time would be to approach her concerning this. The female problems are generally AF and her aftermath. As far as i know, there is nothing that will make her comfortable about this - she just does not like it. and by it, it is not sex - but everything that involves foreplay. foreplay w/ her, moreso then me, but even some things w/ me its a no-no too....
its like deprivation. god, i feel nit picky, but i know i am not...
Ok...so ask her, put her on the spot about it. Now...to ask another question (I'm good at asking questions LOL)...could it be HOW you are touching her? Could your touch be too hard/soft?
Speaking from my own experience...my H has a tendancy to be too light-handed when touching me and it tickles. I HATE, absolutely cannot stand to be tickled...it kills that sexual spark dead for me. So ask questions, try different touches...better yet...give her your hand and aska her to show you the pressure she does like.
Have you explained to her that it's not just the physical aspect of foreplay that you are missing?
you two keep doing the same thing over and over and over. That part is obvious. Its gotta change. She says No, then you ask why. maybe she has a right to say no, maybe it was ok in the past and its not ok for her anymore. Her response to the asking why though hints at something other then it being a real boundary though.
you two keep doing the same thing over and over and over. That part is obvious. Its gotta change. She says No, then you ask why. maybe she has a right to say no, maybe it was ok in the past and its not ok for her anymore. Her response to the asking why though hints at something other then it being a real boundary though.
actually, i am enjoying the questions - nothing like a good converstaion? so, if you have more - keep'em cummin! hehe
so far, when i have put her on the spot the turn out has been disasterous. it is, i can not accept her for who she is, i dont respect her, etc. so i am not doing that
I guess anything is possible when it comes to touching (being too hard or soft).... i am sure i have my moments where it goes both ways.
i would like to think that i know how to do it, and do it right. i mean, i read enough material, watch enough stuff, and talk to enough people that it sounds like i got it. and i do well in translating things into action - (i am a technical oriented person by nature - or at least i feel like i translated actions well at one point in our R.
i cant let her hands lead - cause if i said here, take my hand, show me how to touch you - she would take my hand, slide it along the top, then slide it to the waist and say there, thats it. I like traveling south, yet i continually get caught at the border - WHY CANT SHE BE LIKE THE US AND BUSH and just let me thru?! (i couldnt resist this comic relief)
and yes, i have tried explaining it was more about the passion, the desire, the knowing what i thnk she is thinking on that level.... i felt there was improvement lately in all those areas, yet when it came down to pay off time, there was no payoff. Ok, i know that sounded shrewd...
fact of the matter -- we do communicate, and i thought we have communicated well. problem is something is not translating for the both of us. I realize i have my faults in this - i just cant figure it out cause i am doing what i think are very basic, natural things. obviously thats not the case.... ugh - again!
His doing things over and over is why I broached the "how do you touch her" topic. If he's approaching her the same way everytime and she doesn't like it...I'm thinking...change the approach, it obviously doesn't work for her.
Your W wont let you touch her with your hands below the waist. Is this correct? does it apply to her azz too? or is it just specifically her genitals?
Breast fondling is ok. Sex is ok. but no hands no foreplay type stuff, or Im assuming oral either.
right off the bat Im inclined to think she can detach herself from the sex but not from the more physically arousing, maybe to her intimate feelings that come from digital/oral stimulation. If this is so maybe some of the ladies can give you some insight on this.
if i touch below the waist, it can only be on the very top of the kitty area on the outside, not lower, not inside, nothing - the very tippy top.... also keep in mind it cant be for that long either - its a quicker then a flash on a camera (seems that way)just light rubbing up top. as far as the azz - again, only around the outer area, the cheeks and then its hands off, nada - nothing - no - no - no.
oral, me to her, is out of the question as well. i can kiss no closer then the waist line or upper thigh... anything closer and she loses it. By losing it i mean, i get turned away; i can only kiss to the small of the back or on the azz cheek - but that is it.... again, any closer and she loses it.
what kills me is i am hearing as i get closer to the no-no areas real excitement. I know i am not stupid - my ears do not deceive me (or are they?). my brain says - keep going cause its obvious from sound she is enjoying and then BAM! and brain goes.... WTF? i can not compute! error! error! malfunction!
oral, her to me, is ok. she takes care of me up until..... then its get away cause mess is bad - very very bad..... and i just take all of this has a rejection
didnt wanna get too graphic, but well, i guess you just cant help it in this situation
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