Yes it has been over a week (i think) since I responded or kept anyone up to date.... mainly because I wanted to really focus on what I had, not what i didnt have. I can get caught in a vacuum from time to time when i focus.
First let me say that, i know a week will not be enough time to change a thing; however, a week is enough time to find out if the situation is ever going to right itself and after last night, my frustration has hit a new level.
The first half of the week was really good. I mean there was a difference in approaches for both of us and i thought you know.... we are making progress. it really did look promising - i felt better, acted better and i just thought our R as a whole was moving forward. Also keep in mind that we only ML 1 in the first few days, and again, i still felt very positive. I was excited again about our entire R.
Then the middle of the week came, intimacy occurred, and BAM! it was just down hill from there. why? because as we were fooling around (she initiated and expressed what she wanted) and as we progressed i wanted to explore a bit more (i was going w/ the flow), obviously crossed some line as W said -- no, stop. I did stop but at the same time was crushed - i couldnt figure it out why. I mean, afterall, i was following her queues....so, to make a long story short - the night ended abruptly. i stood my ground and just told her i couldnt continue. when asked why, i told her that hearing no - especially when following her queue was just heart wrenching - i cant figure it out. I told her everything leading up to that one moment was perfect (the last few days) but that one moment absolutely sent me in a tailspin.
needless to say, we recovered the following morning (again, me trying to put a spin on all this) and the next day was decent. things were good, spirits were up, etc. then W had to go away on a trip and i thought, ruh-roh, this will be interesting.
We talked, communicated the entire time W was gone - this was good, we had good conversation. Then last night happened. W still gone, so this was on the phone -- Again, i kinda went along w/ the conversation, i made one wrong comment and i got the what are you trying to do? I explained to her that I was just going along with the conversation. we were laughing, she had described some things that happened, we both made a couple of comments, so i continued to go along -- until i heard, essentially, NO!
I understand there is probably a more deep-rooted reasoning for all of this and i have yet to understand it (hence, NEANDERTHAL is my name), but can someone tell me what the h-e-double hockey sticks is going on?
I have tried everything, literally. i romanced her with dates, flowers, cards, letters (actual mailed), nights out and i still cant seem to get beyond the miss-priss approach she has.... i just think we are on different levels, different playing fields.
