the frequency of 3-4 x week is good in the sense that you are performing the act of ML; along with that you should feel wanted. While that may seem good and true, its really not because that is what I feel like we are doing, going thru the motions. The neglect comes in when that is what we are doing, going thru the motions. The rejection comes in when I try to do something outside of the norm and get told no. By the norm, I am talking about simple things like touching below the waist (with my hands - not even the mouth), anywhere. BTW - that is what I miss, desire, long for, etc. obviously there is more i would like, but i am trying to start slow/small and that still isn't enough
the crying and yelling comes in because she feels hurt, and she feels that I am not respecting what she likes/dislikes and that I shouldnt try to force anything. I have not forced anything -- but she says by continually talking about this I dont respect her bounds and am trying to break her down into something she doesnt want. I am not trying to break her down - I guess you can say I am being a bit selfish with some of my needs in a relationship. I don't think that is wrong, or is that where I am wrong?
Anyways, I am always intiating in some way to get us to the point of ML (intiating in a way that is within her bounds); when that happens, she knows what I want, so then she is more or less just laying there not showing any type of interest. I have said that if I did nothing and waited for the W on the ML front, it most likely would drop to 1-2/month, on top of that lack quality. I did try this once where I shut it down and I got blasted for being that way... Yes I raised the issue then and the conversation ended the same way
the threats of seperation.... i hate it. i think she brings it up because she knows i wouldnt leave - and she is right. Plus I see it as a way for her to make it home that the conversation is getting out of hand in some way. This is usually when our conversations turn towards just ending the discussion and making things livable
