well, i have been called worse, so whatever name you can come up with, i am sure i will answer to
forgive me, but i am not up to speed - ssm? something w/ self satisfaction?
to answer your question, yes power struggles and respect are fairly even. I am looking for a way to add quality that will satisfy both our needs... problem is my needs are different then hers, thus the crux of the problem
an example of a conversation (fight) has gone like this, and i swear, it went the same way each time we talked just about:
** a date was already set where we knew we would just talk/bond. at some point, the topic works its way in and i say... H: Sweety, i want to let you know that i havent been that happy lately because i have been feelin neglected physically W: Why? H: Because I have gotten tired of tryin to make moves and constantly being told no. It is rejection to me, makes me feel like i am not wanted W: <given a look like, WTF?> which starts the yellin H: Why do you keep turnin me away? W: Cause i dont like what your asking, or I am uncomfortable with it so I say no H: i dont understand why you are so uncomfortable about any of this? W: I just am. why cant you accept that? (cryin and yellin now) H: because it wasnt a big issue before and now it is. i miss it and miss the variety it brings. W: I dont know what to tell you then, but i cant have you around here if you are goin to continue to act this way and get upset everytime you get turned away H: You turn me away everytime.... W: Because I dont want that. Why cant you appreciate what you have and get H: Because over the years i have grown and wanted to experience/experiment more with you, yet i feel you dont feel the same way... and that hurts. other then that, i am happy with everything. i just wish we could figure out how we can make it work for both of us on this front W: We can and will once you accept what you can and cant have....
by this time the conversations are just about over - too much crying and yelling and i give up....
