Well, met with the potential landlord. Not sure what to think of it. It didn't go bad or anything, I just couldn't get a read on the lady. Said she'd get an answer to us within a few days.

SO got into it with me about OW being with them yesterday; I said he needed to be up front about things and not sneak around. He still insists there's nothing wrong with urging the kids to keep quiet about those things because "there's nothing going on" and nothing to hide. Yeah, OK.

He also states that I'm being difficult about the whole rental thing. I asked him if it were a smart thing for a person to move into a place they can't pay for and with no job. His answer "Get a job immediately. This is some kind of last desperate attempt for you to hang on to me. I'm tired of doing things for other people. It's time I did things for myself and I'm going to and I don't give a damn what anyone thinks. Why would possibly want to live here when I'm dating someone else and don't want you. How could you want to live under those circumstances?"

So, I'd say that about sums it up. There was some more, I told him I plan on getting the child support paperwork in place. That PO'd him again. Then he started threatening that he'll take ME to court for custody of the kids and he'll win. And that the amount he plans on paying for rent/daycare is more than I'll get in child support.

I'm so tired of this. Everything I do or say is viewed as antagonistic and always comes back to trying to "ruin his happiness with ow". Not that I ever even bring up "us" - he does. As a matter of fact, when he directly asks me things about "us" I do my best to divert the topic.

It just comes down to this. Nothing I do or say, whether nice, polite, validating - no matter what the subject - is taken as anything other than "trying to hold on to him" and he's "not coming back" and this is "his house" and I need to "get out of it and his life" so he can "finally have the happiness he deserves." Yes, they are direct quotes screamed at me after voicing my concerns about no job/no money.

OK, then. I'll go, if the landlord accepts. It won't be available until Oct 1st anyway - that gives me time to secure employment and get the routine going with the kids in school.

I spent the morning calling the custody and support offices; put in calls to some lawyers. And, yes, looks like I'll still have to go through the paternity stuff because I don't have copies of the paperwork from FL for D7. I think what I'll do is wait and find out what's going to happen with the rental 1st. Then file everything after. Anything I do while still living here is only viewed negatively by SO, so I'll just keep it quiet until such time I know what's going with everything.

As for him personally, I told him I wanted him out of the bedroom. Told him he needs to get moved into the other room tomorrow (he's got to work tonight). Sleeping next to him doesn't do me any good. It messes with my mind and I need all the clarity I can get.

Although I do think I'm getting better at detaching. None of the things he said; accusations, even the whole OW thing with the kids - hasn't caused me to be anything other than polite and courteous towards him. I think THAT is pissing him off, that I haven't reamed him out or anything. Merely stated my concerns quietly and respectfully.

Right now I have to worry about the well being of me & the kids. Romeo & Juliet see me as the final roadblock to their happiness. <Insert nasty gagging sound here. > So, I'll get out of the way of their "happiness". But I'll be damned if the kids & I are going to suffer because he doesn't pay the rent.