It's coming down to the wire; I need to make a decision THAT I DON'T WANT TO MAKE!
I feel all this pressure - from SO to get out. I'm terrified of the financial situation more than anything else, although I admit to some fears about "us". When I really think about though, it's more the money issue. I'd feel more secure with a job in place - I have none right now. If I get my RE license, it won't be until October. Thus, no income at least until then. SO is very, very untrustworthy when it comes to money these days. He couldn't even afford his $750 month rent on his apartment, so how the hell is he going to be able to pay this rent, which is $500 more? Plus daycare, dual bills, etc.
When I try to talk about this, he sees me as being "difficult". And trying to cling to him. But my goodness - doesn't he see? Or, am I just supposed to go. Take the kids and hope and pray that he does what he says he's going to do?
Do I make a stand; I'm not comfortable with this decision yet? I'd feel much better about it if I had a job secured. And, if all the money currently in the bank wasn't going to be gone when the check for the security, 1st, & last months rent is written? And then what about incidentals? There'll be no $$ for that; curtains, garbage cans, pots & pans, etc. I mean, I plan on taking all the big things, (furniture, TV, beds microwave, etc) but we don't have dual stuff like that. I believe OW brought (and took back) that kind of stuff for his apartment. Or, he just went without them. Or are these just stupid excuses I'm coming up with?
Can anyone help me sort out the these pro's & cons and to be able to make a fully informed, completely aware decision?
