Well, made it through the afternoon and evening unscathed. I did call his father, and explained everything that happened over the weekend and up to this point. His father told me that SO told him I was moving out this weekend and he couldn't bear the pain so that was why he was there. Also told him I had a job already and some other BS. Explained OW as a "good friend" helping him through a tough time. Ick. His father urged me to just leave him - any way I can. Said he had been like this before I met him, then thought SO had changed when he met me. Explained that a previous girlfriend (before me) also had to run away from him, got a protection order against him which he violated and was put in jail for a night. More info I never knew before.

I also called both the sheriff's dept and state police - both of whom told me I can't have him evicted from his home - at least not by them, but would have to go through NY Family Court.

OW called here tonight as well. 1st time I answered - she must have gotten a new # and I didn't know it was her. uh - it jsut hit me, of course she got a new # last week after calling the cops on SO. Anyway - she asked for SO, I said can I take a message and she said she would call back. I still didn't know it was her until she called later in the evening and SO took the call. I just stayed in the kitchen on the other side of the house while he was on the phone. And, wouldn't you know it, he came in and accused me of eavesdropping - even though he saw me sitting in there. Whatever. I didn't argue the point. Just let him rant - then he said "I'm not having this conversation" and he walked away.

When he went to bed, he said he "had" to sleep in "our" room at least one more night. He asked if I was sleeping on the couch. I asked back, "Do you want me to sleep on the couch?" He said no. I have a raging headache (go figure) and he gave me one of his pain pills for it earlier so he asked if I still had it (the headache). I told him I wasn't sure where I would be sleeping, but probably in the bedroom. He said OK and went to bed.

I'm trying to just let everything go. JUST LET IT GO, NM! I asked him if he heard from the realtor and he said she was supposed to let him know today. Nail biting until then. In the meantime, I'm staying away from him and out of his line of fire. I only speak to him when spoken to.

All day long I kept thinking about how badly I've regressed since he moved back in. Holding everything in today took all the strength I possessed. This weekend felt like "the bomb" all over again for some reason and it hit me (and hurt me) just as badly as the first time around.

I wish I could find my DB book. I've packed it somewhere and can't figure out where I put it. I just have to remember to retreat back to dark. Let him go - it's all about him. He sees me as the root of all problems right now and I won't be able to do anything right in his eyes, so I need to stay out of his eyesight.

As a matter of fact, perhaps a new 180 for me would be to encourage his R with OW.

NNP - I don't see how I'm going to be able to do this financially either. My intent is to go back to work, but that's barely going to cover childcare expenses. And, when I point the finances out to him, he tells me I'm just making excuses. Never mind that he had difficulties paying the $750/month on his apartment - my rent's going to be more. But, I can't argue with him because he views it as me being difficult and trying to find excuses not to move out. We do have some money set aside for rent and daycare, but of course it will run out. Even with me working and adding to it, it will only sustain me for a few months. I will have to go to court and get child support in place.

Whitelight - thanks for your prayers. I hope you're including SO in them because I think he needs it more than I do right now.