All right - opinions needed. The more I read, the more I believe SO to be suffering from major depression - most of the criteria are there. Yet, most everything I read says he won't listen to me if I suggest anything like therapy,
etc. Is this correct? Do I just sit back and watch him continue to spiral downward?

I know I'm probably going to get blasted because the following admission is one of complete anti-DB behavior on my part. I couldn't help it - *I* am almost to the end of my wits. But anyway - here goes:

Last night I actually did yell at him - yeah yelled. Told him he needs to get help for his obsessive compulsive manic behavior. Sometimes, it seems like he listens. I say this because he started questioning what I thought he did that was crazy behavior. I said "you harassed this girl until she called the cops on you"; and "You've done the same things to me". Pointed out some of the irrational behaviors he has been displaying (no - I didn't admit to knowing he's using his mothers email to pretend to be the mother to OW); pointed out his repeated comments on how he wishes he was dead (he says this to me at least once a day).

I also told him I had been thinking about him being in therapy and how I wasn't even sure that he would be able to do it. I said - if it's a man (counselor), I said I don't think you'll open up to a man - you'll be afraid to show him your weaknesses - you'll be afraid of looking like a lesser man than he is. Then I said, well, if it's a woman, if she's hot - you'll probably hit on her. So, what if it's an older woman? You'll see her as a motherly type and how he despises his own mother and mother figures. Quite frankly he was stunned when I said this to him.

So, yeah - I said all the wrong things. He said again he just wishes he was dead and doesn't know how to go on or why he should. I told him he has the 3 best reasons in the world to go on (our kids) and they should be his guiding light.

OK - this always happens, lol. His mom called a little while ago. I broke down and told her everything I knew. Her response - nothing nice; nothing helpful and nothing good to say about him. Gosh, and I wonder why he is the way he is. With a mother like that. Dammit all anyway.