TJ...You are such a sweetheart. Thanks for stopping by my neck of the woods. (And the hug -- right back at ya!)
Yeah...we've been through a lot....I just realized my year "anniversary" for being on here has just passed. Everone having a drink right now, raise a toast to me! (insert BIG eye roll).
OK...Sara...I know what you mean. At this point, I think we would all be better off just getting the eff out! Today he tells me - don't worry about it, you don't have to go - just stay here. My reply: "How can I stay here knowing you want me gone?" He says: It will be fine. I say: "No, it won't be fine. I will do whatever I can to find a place. I'll give it another 2 weeks and see what happens." He wanted to say more, but, being on the anti-DB roll I was on - I put my hand up to stop him from saying anything further and said "Let's just leave it alone and see what happens. No need to talk about it anymore right now."
Yesterday was actually hell before I got to leave here. I had to wait until after 1, to time it right to get to my 1st sisters house (just to visit for a bit)...she lives 5 minutes from where Sister #2 works....I was bringing my truck & kids to SIs #2, and taking her truck while she went on to her house with the girls. (Side note, SO still refuses to mention anything to the kids and family about all this.) But anyway - SO spent the entire 2 hours we saw him (before we left) laying on the couch crying. I finally got PO'd and told him to knock his crap off. He said he couldn't help it and why was I acting cold & mean. I told him not to take it personally, but if I didn't start acting like this wasn't bothering me, I would be crying as well. I told him I was hurt and bewildered and didn't understand all of what he was going through. I also asked why he was crying when this was his decision and all I was doing was respecting his wishes. I told him if I acted like a bitch to him now, he perhaps wouldn't feel so bad when we left. This just made him cry all the more. I know there was more a lot more talk between us, including me at one point bringing up OW. I actually asked him, asked if he was in love with her and if he wanted to be with her and wanted to have our kids involved with her then he needed to tell me. He denied it. Also denied being in any kind of contact with her. I again stressed to him that if that was what he wanted then he should just tell me so it would make things easier. Denied, denied, denied. Ok, WHAT ever.
When I left, he asked if I was coming back and I told him I didn't know. Which, I really didn't have any idea what I was going to end up doing. I threw a couple of things in a bag, but hadn't made up my mind because I was just so sick about the whole thing. I did end up staying at my sisters overnight. He called my cell numerous times throughout the afternoon/evening, but I hit ignore each time. Then he called my sisters house around 7 this morning wondering why I never called him. Whatever. He had also left 2 VM's on my cell and emailed.
So, the rental. The house was actually promising from the outside. Inside, not so great. I thought ceilings were supposed to be at least 8 ft? LOL This one was only about 6 or 6 1/2. And I'm not kidding - I'm tall - 5'10" {without heels} and I was ducking my head the whole way through. The landlord even made a comment about it. Anyway - he had 5 other people there looking at it besides me, plus took 2 calls while he was showing it, then stated he was showing it through Sunday. ....And, it wasn't available until 9/01, which is a problem as school starts 8/28 in that district. It didn't really sit well with me anyway - the inside was from 1950 and has never been updated - and I'm not kidding. I don't think I'd even take it if it was just ME and not with any kids. But, I sent the application in anyway.
And so, I keep looking. And I'll keep looking until the 15th or so. By then, it will be cutting things too close for the start of school. But, until that time comes - one day, one newspaper, at a time. I even had SO here earlier, had him sit right behind me while I was on the computer looking at the rentals in the papers. Don't want him to think I'm bullshit!ing him in my efforts or anything.
Next week, I'll be gone most of it. Going to my sisters again. The county fair is going on - we take the kids every year. She took a vacation week so we're going to take the girls school shopping (her D7 and my D7); one day to the fair, and another day either to a zoo or something. While I'm up there I'll look around for more rentals as well.
And that's it for today. I'm sure the weekend will bring more from SO.
