I'd like to know what's going on with the house, cause I don't like how SO moves back in under the guise of wanting to be with you and then asks you to leave. Was this a convenient way to get the house for himself? I have 0 trust and respect for this guy and do not put anything beyond him.
You need to make sure to protect yourself legally from this mental case.
OK, I know you care about him. But I care about you and he makes me mad!
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
So, what do you say when there's nothing new to say? It's been the same old around here. SO has been here every day ...and coming home every night after his bar remotes. Claims he's not involved with OW any more. Tells me he's going to be devastated when we move out, yet doesn't want to seem to do anything different. He has hinted about me staying, but as far as I'm concerned, he needs to say something out right to me. He didn't have any problem asking me to leave, so if he wants me to stay, he should be able to say so.
I keep searching for rentals, yet nothing but 2 BR's seem to be available. I have no idea what will happen if I don't find something shortly. I did tell him that I would cut off my search by 8/15. That's just putting it too close to when school starts.
Well NM, I don't know what to say. I think you are right that in this instanace it would be in order for him to verbalize whether he wants you to saty put.
What is the plan if you can not find a place my 8/15? Could you not make a 2BR work for you and the girls? Granted it would not be ideal, but it would not be forever.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
The thing is, and maybe I'm wrong, but because he has issues, he's throwing me & the kids out of our home. So, for me to settle for a 2 bedroom apartment (we're moving out of a 5 BR, 3500 sq ft house and most of its contents) - I guess it just pisses me off. I mean, I don't think it's unreasonable to want a 3 BR place - even with that, 2 kids will be sharing a room...maybe it's my pride. Who knows.
We had a blazing argument just before. All this stress is getting to me. I asked him if he was working Saturday night, he said no, so I said "Good. You can watch the kids. I'm going out." That started a whole can't you wait until you move out of here, then you can go out when ever you want argument. And, never argue with a woman scorned who's PMSing - I blasted him. I'm starting to believe he IS nuts.
OK, so I'm going to look at a 3 BR place tomorrow afternoon. How come I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach?
And, going on a hunch, I checked SO's email, well - I don't have access to all of them. But, I see he's been emailing OW - begging her to talk to him. That he's doing all this to make her happy because she asked him to. Blah, blah. That's great. Do all this for a relationship with a girl that you've been lying to and cheating on. Oh that's right, and he'll even admit this, she doesn't know. About any of what's gone on between him & I. How lovely.
And what bothers me the most, is even knowing this, knowing he's sent those emails, I still love him very deeply. Well - not this nut job that's been around lately, but the other guy I used to know. Would most likely consider staying if he asked. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just hate him and make this easier on myself?
Regardless, I'm resigning myself to moving out. He feels I'm in the way here, feels I'm in the way of his R with OW. He'll sacrifice our family to start anew with OW (as long as me & the kids are gone, according to her, it seems), even though he's never been truthful or faithful with her. So, then let it be so.
I'm beginning to believe the kids & I will have a more fulfilling life where we're moving. The only thing missing will be him, and, in reality, he's been missing for a while now. So, the kids will be able to see their aunts, uncles, cousins & grandparents almost daily. Fair trade for their father, I guess. Their father doesn't bother too much with them these days anyway. Always too busy; too tired; too much drama with OW - always too something.
And me. Well, I know never say never. But, once I've moved out, it will be very, very difficult for me to ever be able to look at him the same way. To know it was more important for him to give that *other* R another chance and not ours. So much so that the idea of being a part-time dad with a full-time girlfriend is more important. All the while knowing what I know about his honesty and integrity towards OW. Do you know he even had the balls to say to me "Who knows, six months down the road I may find that I want to marry you". Then, another one: "If you are still in love with me in a few months, you can always move back." Argh.
I mean, the thing is, and I can say this honestly. Had he ever once said he was really in love with her; stopped doing the things with me that he was doing, etc - it would have been a different ball of wax. I could have understood a little better. But, he's telling her one thing - me another. It doesn't make sense. Or, maybe it makes too much sense. Whatever. I suppose it doesn't really matter.
Quote: To know it was more important for him to give that *other* R another chance and not ours.
I wouldn't call lying and cheating giving a R a chance. Believe me. He might be doing a bit more begging and finessing, but that's cause she doesn't have 3 kids to tie her to him, his lies and BS is all he's got.
With you, he knows you love him, you have the kids, he'll always have you.
I'm so sorry. THis guy doesn't love anyone. He is totally nuts.
NM, on one hand I surely do agree with you that you and the girls should not have to get a really small place. I was looking at it more from the stand point of just wanting you out of that situation.
What is up with these men of ours!?!?!?
Any news? How did the 3BR look?
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
