HP... First off, hi there! I, too, am going along with H's "schedule"...for now, anyway, lol. I wanted to add my observations regarding motherly narcissism and aging. My MIL was a very giving person when raising her kids ( her H was a chaotic, alcoholic man and she held the family together). But this point in her life, she is caught up in her own world...my H feels she is just tapped out or something...she is missing that piece of connection she used to have. Now, my mother, by contrast, was emotionally unavailable to me growing up, yet after I had kids ( and she became a grandma) a part of her heart opened up and she became increasingly involved. She has made comments about not knowing "where she was" when I was growing up and has apologized. It's been at times validating and healing. Anyway, the thing I am getting from all this is that we have to somehow stay in touch with the best part of ourselves ( the nurturing and giving stuff) but somehow balance and pace ourselves... find that optimal selfless/selfish balance.
I look at my daughter and wonder if she also possesses the fear that she will end up like her mother,lol.
