Ok muddle, it's time for THIS again, lol. No, actually, I thank you for honoring my request for more info on this subject.
I guess I will just have to agree to disagree with this opinion because I guess I see what's being described here as more of a MLC thing than just an affair, and granted, in MLC, good marriage or bad, bad things can happen.
In any event, as I say all the time, and as you even said, there are MANY opinions on this stuff, some of which I agree with and some I do not. I think this one gets it partially right, but like a lot of MLC material, it paints a picture of hopelessness, something that I think many psychologists are REALLY good at.
It may be denial on my part, but I prefer to believe that there IS hope and that my W is not in full MLC. I prefer to think that there WERE serious issues in our marriage that no matter WHAT the reason she had this affair, need to be addressed.
Can an affair happen in a good marriage to an otherwise "perfect" spouse? Sure, of course it can but as I think I have witnessed on this board, MOST of the time it's not that way. MOST of the time there are SERIOUS issues that run deep in the marriage that if addressed, can bring about some really positive changes and lead to a healthy renewed marriage.
Again, while I don't disagree with this 100%, the mere fact that it comes out and says there is basically no hope in these cases makes me discount it off hand. It's a matter of choice and I choose to have hope. If I'm wrong, well then I guess I donated a year or so of my life trying to prove otherwise.
