Hey Andy, just dropping by to say hi and thank you for the advice! As for still feeling the pain for past events or issues...I had a good chat with my wife about that one (and yes, I broke down because the pain came rushing back to me) . Well, I told her I did not want to revisit that, explained the idea of an emotional bank account, you make deposits (and feel good) and withdrawls (and feel like crap) and that when I thought or spoke of the pain that I had suffered, that I was making major withdrawls. In short, by revisiting those moments, I was reliving them and all the pain, anger and resentment came back as well. This is something I refused to do! She went on to say that we were sort of living a death...the death of our relationship, of our love...I told her it wasn't a death, it was a rebirth, that we are reinventing ourselves AND our relationship. That nothing could or would ever be the same, even in the event that we came back together. There are certain things she would not accept from me and certain things I could NOT accept from her...so that it was useless to linger on the past...now was the time to make fresh memories, new good memories (cause even the old GOOD memories bring along with them a feeling of pain and sorrow).
So my advice to you here is that, even though we have come to depend on you for good sound advice and a helping hand...make sure you are not reawakening those past horrors and in so doing making major withdrawls (is that the way you write that?) from YOUR account!
. Well, I told her I did not want to revisit that, explained the idea of an emotional bank account, you make deposits (and feel good) and withdrawls (and feel like crap) and that when I thought or spoke of the pain that I had suffered, that I was making major withdrawls. In short, by revisiting those moments, I was reliving them and all the pain, anger and resentment came back as well. This is something I refused to do! She went on to say that we were sort of living a death...the death of our relationship, of our love...I told her it wasn't a death, it was a rebirth, that we are reinventing ourselves AND our relationship. That nothing could or would ever be the same, even in the event that we came back together. There are certain things she would not accept from me and certain things I could NOT accept from her...so that it was useless to linger on the past...now was the time to make fresh memories, new good memories (cause even the old GOOD memories bring along with them a feeling of pain and sorrow).