Quoting ANS: I don't intend to back off any further, but I think you're right that I cannot bulldoze my way back into her confidence.
You're right, you may have done all the backing off you could, and I'm sorry for having said it actually, like you were some sort of rookie or something (that, would be ME ). And your comment made me think about the fact that I am doing very little backing off myself! Oh! I'm no longer pursuing, no longer making those many phone calls every day just to hear her voice and put some sort of pressure on her...she has taken up that role , but as far as shyoing away from her when sahe seems troubled or down or deep in thought...no any more, I am just NOT taking for granted that it may have something to do with me. And that has been one of the best things I have done up to date! She no longer sees me as someone who hears, but doesn't listen, as someone who wants to fix HER, but as a sympethatic ear, someone who understands and does listen (huge 180 for me there).
So I would perhaps say: dont back off, but dont take for granted that the problem is you! It may or may not have anything to do with you. Just dont get back into the game, the chasse, the old: "what's wrong? Nothing I'm just tired!" routine and then both of you feel completely isolated and unable to communicate. And the circle dance continues!
Just babbling, but you have gotten this far, not time to resort to old habits! I certainly look to you for insperation, and I am simply trying to mirror, reflect what you have told me in the past!
). And your comment made me think about the fact that I am doing very little backing off myself! Oh! I'm no longer pursuing, no longer making those many phone calls every day just to hear her voice and put some sort of pressure on her...she has taken up that role 
, but as far as shyoing away from her when sahe seems troubled or down or deep in thought...no any more, I am just NOT taking for granted that it may have something to do with me. And that has been one of the best things I have done up to date! She no longer sees me as someone who hears, but doesn't listen, as someone who wants to fix HER, but as a sympethatic ear, someone who understands and does listen (huge 180 for me there). 