I don’t suppose I ever really objected to other gender friends. I only objected to any friends who she felt closer to than me. This included FFs. It is much to my relief that she confides to me more than him or any FFs she may have. I’ve always wanted an open relationship. Not one in which she discusses her problems (the biggest was me!) with others.
I don’t consider MF’s complaints whining, either. He has valid complaints. His W is stifling him. What he doesn’t see (her either) is that they’re dancing the classical pursuer-distancer dance. I’m not close enough to either of them to explain, and though I’ve made oblique references to it when talking to my W, I’m not even in a position to talk to her about it. She could view it as taking sides with MF’s W.
When I said that W’s R with MF is primarily behind his W’s back, I meant that all of his friendships have gotten that way. She not only ousted W, but me, and MF’s best (other than my W) friend. She has said that he can continue his friendships as long as we don’t go to his house. However, he gets lotsa flack if he goes out to see us. He really doesn’t have much choice.
When (I don’t think it’s a matter of “if”) she finds out, I plan to stay waaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of it. As much as I would like to help them, it’s just none of my business.
