Beyond frustrated... is this really worth it?

[cat03]

I so wanted to begin a new post positively, but as I write I've barely been able to control my frustration, resentment and anger. Why even bother DB with this @#$@# man??? he is a shade of the man I married, I worked so hard for 7mths to have him back in ANY shape, but I just don't know anymore.

At the end of our last C session he did mention that if we start discussing a point we dont' agree with then it turns into this "long speach/discussion" that he doesn't want to have, it's too much bother for him to sit down and try to come to an agreement. Instead he stops me short with a rude "I dont' want to hear from you" or "dont' want to hear your speach" at which point I want to snap.

I was crying this am, after so many weeks of C and months of feeling fine I couldn't put up w/it, he honestly doens't want to bother to talk, I dont' see myself putting up with that crap for years. He also pulled the "maybe I should be alone" card at which point I want to say "maybe you should".

I'm so tired of giving him so many breaks because he is stressed about his job, so tired of putting up w/his rude comments, short temper and anger bursts because of his ADHD.

Damn it, I just want to have a H that loves me and is happy w/me, I already know he doesnt' think of me that way yet, but I honestly won't live like this for more than a year, if by next summer he still isnt' sure if he loves me or not I'm calling it quits, I'm not going to live a sham of a marriage, it hurts too much to be treated like a pesky roomate instead of the woman whom which he wanted to live w/for the rest of his life.

I'm having a rotten day, I had to vent, hadn't felt this awful in a while