I think I’ve DB’d myself to a standstill. Once W decided to work on her end of things, she also decided to do it in her own time. Yes, the tests and C are a major concession for her, but from the start, she’s been concerned about “giving up” things for me. She wants to make sure I know that she’s compromising.
As she continues to show me these compromises, she continues to say and do things that hurt me to the core. I think she does this to show me that I’m not “winning.” Sometimes she shows such a lack of concern over my feelings. She wouldn’t show this lack of consideration to her friends, but somehow feels that it’s her job to “help” me. She also sees the things she does, as the “real” her. It’s acceptable to her friends, so is should be acceptable to me. In her view, I have to learn to accept her, too.
So, I act as-if they don’t bother me. But they do. I’m working on trying to harden myself, but the scars run deep. I’m still very much the boxer in the song.
Lily,
I knew you’d like the fact that she’s making these compromises. I believe that the t panel is the test she’s going for.
I’m not sure about MF’s Wife’s stand, though. Her stand has MF and W very upset. Like I said, I think that my W thinks that I encourage this stand, or at least that I’m silently jumping for joy. I’m not. I don’t want their friendship to go away, and I certainly don’t want it to become a wedge between W and I (which under the current conditions, it’s threatening to do.)
There are cracks showing up in MF’s W’s stance. She knows full well that by banning his friends, she’s putting a wedge between them (i.e.: MF and his W). She now allows him to ride with us, but still doesn’t want us in her house. W and MF see this as progress, and think her feelings will “blow over.” I’m afraid that they will appear to “blow over” as she sees the futility of staunching his friendships. But they have issues. I just wish that W and I didn’t get sucked into them.
Yes, Rachael, I’ve come a VERY long way. I don’t know if I would characterize myself as impatient, though that’s part of it. I guess I’ve just come to a point where the scars of the last couple of years have accumulated, and I’m having an hard time healing them. I’ve also come to the point where the uncertainty of how this will all work out is getting closer to home.
