Wish I Could Unlove Him

[25yearsmlc]

I hear you. FWIW, I've been M for 25 years, so (hence the display name) I understand the problem with just "starting over." Losing someone after so many years, feels like i'm losing an organ and I don't know if it's something I can live without, like an appendix, or if it's removal will kill me, emotionally.
Enough time has passed that I now know I will be alright no matter what. But yes another man would be, among other things, weird.

But so you know, regardless of sparks/lightning/dynamite, etc. that is NOT the same as bringing a new man into my kid's lives.....nooo. IF and when I meet a guy I want to start seeing, okay I'd start seeing him---for many months before I would even consider having him meet my kids. Probably would take 2 things; 1) time, maybe a year or more, of dating, and 2) the belief that it might be a long term/permanent R and then, I'd introduce him to the kids and I'd give them some sort of "veto" power---if they didn't hit it off, sorry but the guy would have to go.....at least until the kids are all raised. But I think if the kids have a problem with a new OP in the LBSers life, it is likely for a good reason. Kids seem to want the LBSers to find someone so the kids don't feel totally responsible for our happiness, at least they seem to want that more than they want the WAS to find or have someone else.....so if the kids rejected my "candidate", I would want to know why. And I think they'd have a reason. They want me to be happy. They want me to recover from this...And at least one of them, d17, wants me to move on...without H.

I just wanted to share all this, 'cuz I am being mistreated and I am lonely. No big complicated situation....just how I feel tonight. It's Saturday night, after all.
j-