...I was on this board 5 yrs ago when my xh and I separated. I did everything in the book and followed advice. I didn't want to hear anything negative. My x didn't follow thru with divorce papers and he hung around for 2 yrs. visiting every day, going to dinner as a family, but he lived in his own place. It wasn't until I read the advice on these posts that I realized, he wasn't coming back and he wanted out that I made the decision to file for divorce. It's been 3 yrs. since the divorce and now I have a clear vision as to why it was the best thing to do. Closure - you do your best to save the marriage, but the best thing is time to heal. No false hopes. My x did that to me and that's the one thing I will never forgive him for. We are still good friends. He remarried a yr. after the divorce and even had kids with his new wife. He is a totally diff. human being. And what's the most ironic thing is that he married a shrink...after he refused to go to marriage counselling because he said all therapists and shrinks were crazy themselves. Good luck and trust me, time will make difference.
